The file which Flit and Snout gave TO regarding Chilacian reproduction didn’t go into much detail about potential pre-Enkavma symptoms, speaking in vague comments while urging the reader to speak to ‘someone they trusted’ if they had more questions. It was a quick reminder that file was intended for children and wouldn’t help TO much.
Searching a general database for information brought up an impressive amount of fiction centered around the topic and while TO at first though maybe it would give them some information, a quick skim of the summary quickly told them it would not. It also made them wonder if anyone monitored what they looked up on the network here in Scraprock.
When they started looking through their own messages while taking a break from their attempts at research they noticed the file which Runala. Runala sent the file the other day with no comment or subject, just a larger file which was written in a combination of synth speak and Galactic common. The cover page held no illustrations, just the title: “A NuChilacians’ guide to living.” The table of contents had straightforward titles, like “What We Actually Can and Can’t eat”, “The Trauma of Training”, and “A Beginner’s guide to Mental Health.” Other titles were blunt, declaring a promise of information which TO felt was common sense, and information that felt like it would be useful. One such title was “Am I cycling?” with ‘cycling’ written in Galactic common.
Pieces fell together, and TO felt their ears burn. GiDi had ‘heard of’ signs and TO had wondered where from. They had also wondered how Runala had been so at ease and so forgiving when it came to DH’s behaviour towards them. More confusing to TO was the way Runala’s ears had twitched in amusement at how DH acted. The possibility of Runala being the one to have witnessed these signs and share them with GiDi made them want to pack up their bags and leave Scraprock now. TO could picture how Runala would react if they could witness them going through this book and the image of a self-satisfied, smug tilt to their ears which TO had never seen Runala have before burned its way into their mind. It was tempting to just delete the file and pretend as though they had never seen it.
That, however, would be stupid.
They navigated to the relevant chapter with a sigh. In Big bold letters, the words, “Am I cycling” stood at the top of the page. Beneath it, a longer blurb in smaller text read, “Early warning signs, How it feels, what to do, what to expect, and when to seek medical aid”
At least this file looked like it was written for those with the maturity of an adult, but the knowledge base of a child. Like almost everything else on Scraprock, it seemed like designed for those synths who had escaped King Decon; for NuChilacians.
designed for them.
TO sat down, got up, went to the little chilled storage cupboard where they kept a handful of those sugary drinks and spent far more time than needed in selecting one before they went back to their seat.
Finally, they started reading.
=======
*Most of the side effects - the early warning signs- of Enkavma make logical sense to most researchers. The increase in energy levels early on, supported by the substantial increase in appetite, explains distraction, restlessness, and even an increase in anxiety levels. Mental distraction and the tendency to overeat at this time, along with the internal inflation of glands lower in the body, can cause a subtle shift in the centre of balance, which can also affect coordination in flight and on land.
*The increased aggression, the overprotectiveness of one’s mate, and the tendency towards violent behaviors seen in individuals is less obvious to us today. It’s entirely possible that this information was documented, but lost after the fall of Skyla. Any new, primal data we could gather would be in the ruins which today remain out of reach. As such, we can only theorize about why this occurs.*
*the most popular theories are as follows:*
*Defensive: This could have been helpful to protect one’s mate from land predators when one would otherwise be distracted.
*Defensive as a compensation: given the decrease in coordination and the issues caused in flight, primal Chilacians may have relied on their increased aggression to protect them from threats they could have otherwise fled from.*
*Non-adaptive side effect: The chemicals that drive reproduction could have a threshold which, when hit, creates a neurochemical surge that triggers aggression. This was the leading theory for over a century, but has proven difficult to confirm for both ethical and scientific reasons.
*Emotional overflow: The increased emotions at this time could simply express themselves not only in passion, but in aggression
*In modern society, these symptoms are relatively easy to combat. We have medication that helps reduce aggression and anxiety, and our species has always been highly communal so the decrease in mobility is easily compensated for by one’s pod.*
TO paused as they read that last section and ceased chewing on the strange gum-like medicine that Miriam had given them earlier. The earthy taste had faded off, but they had continued to chew it as Miriam had instructed them. Had it helped? With Avery, they had been impulsive, but not aggressive. And when learning that GiDi had been talking to other people about this, they had wanted to curl up and disappear, but they hadn’t felt a flood of anxiety that normally would have accompanied such a worry. Miriam told them it was a medication from Apoikia, but not that they were sick.
Their ears burned and their stomach churning as they realized Miriam probably thought the same thing as GiDi, and just didn’t tell them outright. Why would they hide that information? Of course, TO answered their own question almost before they had finished their thought; Runala had told Miriam not to speak about that anymore after TO ran off once when the whole situation had come up.
With a groan, TO rested their head on the table. They had given Miriam no reason to think they could speak openly about this to TO. In fact, the only people who had was Flit and Snout, and TO was starting to realize that even back then the two - well, Snout more than Flit - had been covering the topic broadly. Less of a “this is how it all works” talk and more a “If this happens, you’re not sick or dying” talk.
Would it be worse to have to sit through an even longer, more awkward conversation, or to realize that everyone around you was being very careful so as not to embarrass you?
The door slid open behind him, and TO quickly flicked the screen away, hiding their research just as DH entered the room.
“Oh! you’re here!” DH said, carrying a small bag towards the table, “I got us something to eat.” They frowned as they approached, setting the bag on the table. “Are you alright? I thought I’d meet you at Constance’s class, but -“
TO cursed loudly, half standing up before they flushed and sat back down. “I lost track of the time.” They muttered, remembering what the file they had been studying said about being easily distracted.
“Not like you,” DH said, chuckling as they sat down. “But it was fine. GiDi met me there and said that they spoke to you about some kind of group sleepover with the swimming kids. The moment they mentioned that, Constance just wanted to go right away and eat in the hunting tank, so I let her go.” They paused as they reached into the cloth bag and pulled out cartons of food, sliding one to TO. “Or... should I not have?”
TO shook their head, reaching for the food without even thinking. “It’s fine.” They said, “GiDi spoke to me about it. It’ll be good for her.”
“That’s what I thought.” DH said, sitting down across from TO and opened their own container of food. When DH opened the container, TO noticed first that it was more food than normal, and second that while TO themself had already started to eat and they hadn’t paid any attention to what they were eating or how it tasted. This was disappointing since TO recognized the seed-covered, multi-colored balls and knew they had been planning to try them for days. There were so many foods in Scraprock which catered to NuChilacian taste, and TO wanted to try them all! But now, here they were, eating food without even tasting it.
“Hungry?” DH asked as their ears flicked with amusement. “It makes me happy to see you eat so well.”
“A little.” TO said with a blush in their ears. “Aren’t you?”
“Starving, actually.” DH said, still amused, “That’s why I got us both double sizes. I figured if you didn’t eat all of yours, I’d eat the rest, or we’d have extra for later. Though I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
TO nodded and took up one of the little balls, forcing themself to slow down as they pulled it in half and carefully ate the morsel while paying special attention to flavour and texture.
They didn’t want to taste it, they just wanted to eat it!
“How was work in the lab today?” TO asked.
DH’s ears dipped, “Frustrating. Snout told me that they and Flit would be... well, that they’d be ‘preoccupied’ next week in the same way that Runala and Pulsar are.” They cleared their throat, shaking off the flush in their ears before continuing, “So, Vik and I have been working hard to finish the new leg before that, but I guess because I’m rushing I just kept messing up.”
“What do you mean?” TO’s ears dropped as they watched DH eat. Their mate had always had an appetite, but they seemed to be eating even faster than normal.
“Just small things. Grabbing the wrong tool. Mixing up wires, and just being oddly careless in my programming.” They shook their head and reached for the bottle of water nearby. “It’s irritating, and it’s mistakes I’d normally not make. My own fault, I guess, I shouldn’t be rushing. We do want to get this done before we leave, but still...”
“You can still work on it on the ship.” TO said, “I mean, Vik is coming with us-“
“Yes, but we won’t have as many resources on the ship, and I don’t know what resources we’ll have on Apoikia. I can likely pick up some work and buy extra supplies to take with us, but I’d rather just finish it here.” Their ears flicked down. “Also, I ended up hurting myself a lot today.”
“Oh.” TO’s ears dropped more. “You... How did you do that?”
“Well, I beat my leg off the side of the table, my arm off a shelf, and even smacked my head when I was looking for something in a low cupboard.” DH raised a hand just as TO was about to speak. “Don’t worry, it’s not serious. Just a little bump. That one doesn’t even hurt now, but it was irritating.” Their ears flicked back, their eyes narrowed, and the edges of their lips curled. “Oh, and when that happened, I cursed, and Vik just laughed at me! Can you believe that!? What if I had a concussion!? What if I had really hurt myself? But no, He didn’t care. He just thought it was funny!” They took a forceful bite of one of the balls. “Asshole.”
“And.... did you say anything to him?”
“I told him he’s an asshole, and that if he enjoys seeing me hurt so much, then I shouldn’t be working with him!” They snapped. Anger flared in their ears and eyes for a moment, then they sighed, “Which... probably wasn’t fair of me. But I was hurt! I was in pain, and today was just a bad day. I’ll talk to them tomorrow and hope they forgive me.”
Aggression, distraction, mood swings, and increased appetite. Could it be coincidence, or could it be just like what everyone thought was happening to TO themself? Often times, civilians had a tendency to take coincidences to have some greater meaning than they actually did. That was something they learned back in training- that coincidence, and the meaning that civilians ascribed to them, often led to superstition. Superstition led to religion. Religion was, as they were taught, the tool of tyrants. Synths were taught to see coincidence for what it was.
Even so, TO couldn’t convince themself that this was a coincidence.
