It's not all the time I get to be alone with my thoughts. No, not at all. But when I do, I get sad. Not the sadness you see when you are truly upset about something. It's that depressing feeling that lingers inside of me every day. I didn't like it at first, but now I embrace it like it is family. My depression kinda just shows up, comes and goes as it pleases. I hug it when it is here, and when it doesn't make me completely upset. I respect it when it respects me. 

It's there when I need it. Kinda like a friend in some ways. Well, it keeps me company at least, even if I don't like the conversation we have. When it makes me cry, it doesn't apologise, but it goes away after a while, so I take that as a good enough apology for the damage it has caused. 

Sometimes I can't tell whether depression has visited me, or loneliness. I almost want to say that they are like dating partners and walk side by side together. Maybe that's pushing it, I don't know for sure. Or maybe I'm just overly tired all the time and mistake it for those things. I don't know the answer to that either.

There's a lot I don't know, even though I wish I did. Thinking keeps the mind occupied and sharp. But don't let the darkness control you. Don't let it devour your soul. You'll be alone and hurting. If it has already grabbed a hold of you, grab a hold of it and seek help. It might help, it might not. Either way, it will most definitely open your eyes.