Chapter 37 - Performance I
In the end, I used everything I had at my disposal. I did take a big inspiration from making the theme into a magic performance. I had timed my pee break with what I knew would come. Of course everyone that watched would be a much better witness.
I didn't need everyone to turn and watch the pretty explosions, it was just icing on the cake that they did. And while I didn't exactly make the man disappear, I still included as many things as I could from a real magic act.
While I am philosophically inclined to share interest with Whitestone and his act, this was a big performance piece. I went with the guy I had known growing up. The one who did the two drink minimum of up close hand magic, then mainly went from big set to big set. He made things disappear, it was his signature trick.
I needed a stage. I had a stage. There has to be something on the stage, some sort of spectacle. Here, a giant gleaming statue. I've seen giant tanks of water, large wooden gallows. A giant metal statue, serves the purpose fine.
I need action and distraction. I need people milling around. The human eye can only watch and track so many things before it gives up and pulls back, scanning. All the cameras and warm bodies for the dedication ceremony, make for a big action and distraction.
When the magician pops into one of his final poses, there's always a flurry of surprising activity. Smoke, explosions, fire. Women dancing around half naked dripping in feathers and jewels. It works the same, in my performance.
The elements from an old magic special I saw on TV? I was one of the people winding and winding that VCR tape back. I put my finger on him, and watched him put the hood over his head and they tied it shut. I held my finger on him, as they marched him up the gallows. Then he hangs, and... boom, he's one of the executioner's attendants all along.
That's me. Think about it. I'm on the stage, but off to the side. A mere functionary. The people milling around, the final entourage up to the statue. Its only big enough for one person, so that part was easy.
The explosions were not easy at first, but hey. I had nothing but time. Yet I was very careful. No one died from any of the explosions. No. Cause of death? A man was found with an arrow in him or through him. No one in that crowd can be the cause of his death.
I naturally ended up on the end of a judge's order, and it was very specific. I was to make my laptop available to them. I refused, and again stated my own reasoning. I didn't think my person and papers of the modern day, my laptop... felt very secure.
Off to county I went. While in county, I got a surprising number of bits of advice off of the many guards in and out of there. I was housed in a private cell. Another performance I put on, for my own benefit. I played the part of a zany comedian during booking, and actually had people coming in to see it. I heard them. Dude, they got a real comedian down at booking. We gotta see this.
When asked if I had any mental problems, I said yes. I was under a doctor's care, and I had a prescription for my syringe and psychiatric medication they confiscated. I declined to indicate exactly what it was for. I simply stated. Do I seem normal, to you?
I heard the desk worker say it. This one? Flies solo. Not taking any chances.
But the advice? Oh, multiple times daily. Why, if I simply told the court what it demanded to know? Heck. I could go home tonight. County prisons have all been modernized. The image of the long cell block, with a row of cages? Not any more. Multiple tiers around a common day room. You eat and sleep and spend what would have once been yard time? In this common room, or in your cell.
When several days of you should just tell didn't work, the next thing was how I was going to have to sign up to work. I simply refused.
"See, if you read your handbook you were given."
"Oh, I read it. Every word. How good time, good days? Goes towards getting out early. I got that."
"Well? Good time is only accumulated by working."
I giggled.
"I refuse to work, any job here? And that's final."
"Really. Everyone gets so bored, they literally beg to go to work."
"Yeah, not me. See, follow my logic here."
"I gotta hear this."
"If I work? I'm here on a judge's order. You can't let me out early. And on the flip side. If I don't work? You can't keep me here, once I tell what the court order wants. So, logically. If working can't get me home early, and not working can't keep me here... why would I feel like working for free for you."
"You have to. All prisoners work."
"Really? If I refuse to work. Any job. What are you going to do about it."
"You'll have to see the warden. You don't want that."
"Why. What's so special about him. I'll explain the same thing to him, I just explained to you."
She got dramatic.
"The warden? Can keep you longer."
I giggled.
"No, I think that one's a fairy tale. Only a judge, can enforce a court order. Or lift it. Like you expect me to believe, they trust your warden? With sentencing powers. No, but I bet that fairy tale works on all the other inmates here. Tell you what. You're a nice girl, I'll be nice back. And I won't tell all the other inmates how I think that's a big fib."
"And why wouldn't you."
"Cause I'm going to be busy? Telling them my main thing. All about numbers and schedules. How much power they have, as lowly inmates. They don't realize it, I'll explain it to them. They're bored? They'll listen."
"And what will you preach to them, instead of working. What."
"Just the truth. That I have two college degrees? In mathematics and computer science. And I see it like this. I bet, this whole place? Runs on that free labor you have access to. Why, I'll bet even more? You have, what. 20 inmates, overseen by one real employee you actually have to pay and provide benefits for."
"So? What's your point."
I smiled.
"You can go back, and tell whoever put you guys up to all these, friendly little talks? This. If we all simply refuse to work the jail jobs? You're not allowed to do a damn thing to us, but stick us in our cells all day. And, it won't last very long. You're required to feed us by law. And with 19 out of 20 kitchen workers suddenly gone? You guards, will be serving me in my cell. And this place will go broke? Within I bet, about a month. You'll have to release all of us, then. Or, suddenly hire 20 workers for every worker you pay now. Which I don't see happening."
"You sound pretty sure of yourself."
"Like I said. As much as I enjoy these little... talks? That's my offer back to whoever sends you guards, to try to talk some sense into me. I'm surprised you haven't gone for the usual threats."
"Like?"
"Some mouthy prick guard, that can't actually fight runs his yap. What he's just about to do, but he never really gets around to doing. Yap, yap, yap. Next step? Oh, we stick you in with the animals. The murderers, the rapists. Another big yawn. I hang out with guys like that in bars for years. I'll have more fun, with the guys that are there held over for serious court dates."
"You think we can't house you there?"
"If you want me to have more fun talking to people in the day room? Fine, put me there. I'm kinda bored here. Just don't forget to tell whoever sent you, what I said."
"We were just talking."
"If you say so."
Didn't take very long at all. Within a week, I was in solitary. All I can figure, is that they must have taken my jail labor talk seriously. I had the little meeting with the warden. He tried to be short and curt with me. I just waited for my turn to speak. When finally asked what I had to say for myself?
"So you say. I don't believe you, that you can keep me as long as you feel like it. And, how exactly do you plan on motivating me to work, if I refuse. I'm curious. So. You, have nothing to frighten me with. I mean, so you say and all. I just don't believe you. Me, however. I manage to get through to a few inmates, Well, I'm betting you need that labor so much, that's a credible threat."
He yelled for me to be taken back. I heard him cussing as I was escorted out. I remained grinning and pleasant through it all, though. I yelled back as I was being ushered along.
"Its been a pleasure. Have me back, if you want to play a game of chess. Or do crossword puzzles, I like those."
I joked at lunch when I got back, I wonder how long it will take for me to end up in solitary. I was taken there the next morning, after breakfast. Must be on a schedule, you move people around in the mornings.
In the old days, it was a cement hole in some basement. In the old movies, too. But just like cell blocks gave way to the pod system ages ago, so too did solitary adapt. Its just a room by yourself now. Hell, its bigger than my cell I was already alone in, this is an upgrade.
Better service, too. I no longer have to run down and join the breakfast or lunch or dinner line, grabbing my tray off of the hospital cart. I get waited on. I get breakfast in bed, lunch in bed, dinner in bed. I don't have to go and mingle with the other inmates in the day room, the day room is a room full of guards and desks.
The county jail library cart comes by daily, not once a week like in regular confinement in the pod system.
"Hey, brother."
"Well. The librarian. Imagine meeting you here."
"Yeah. They try to push reading, get more inmates reading. Its supposed to help all the way around. So. What do you like."
"You don't remember me, from the one time we met back in the misdemeanor pod? Science fiction. Hasn't changed."
"Well? I got a couple right here. Here you go. And, since you're in the hole and all."
"Yes."
"You get first crack at whatever you want to read. As guys get done with science fiction? They go to you. I got other books I pick from for this cart here. I'll get you more. Enjoy."
"Thanks."
He winked through the hole in the door.
"Word is, you told the guards off, but you did it politely."
"I might have."
"Then, you told the warden off."
"Politely, but yeah."
Christ, I was about in my glory. I got a bigger room all to myself now. I prefer to be alone in the first place. Now I get to read science fiction, all day every day, and I'm at the top of the list to choose science fiction titles? Not too shabby.
The only thing was the constant stream of guards and other workers, each taking their crack at me. One guy in a suit came in now and again, and he was more polite than the others. I always told him, I wonder what you're really up to. When asked why, I grinned quizzically.
"Because. You act different than all the other ones."
"Is that all?"
"No. Running the risk of being rude, you carry yourself like you might actually be somewhat educated."
"Maybe I am. Are you educated?"
"I mentioned it a few times. They asked me when I got booked into this hotel, too. Education. High school, two college degrees. Math and comp sci. You?"
"I've been to college. I only got one degree. You might even consider it a... lightweight field."
"I might. But, when faced with no college degrees, and suddenly one pops up? Well. How can I say no to that."
"I've talked to the other people that talked to you. My impression I get, is that you seem intelligent."
"And you're free to get whatever impression pleases you."
He nodded.
"We seem to do better talking, me and you."
"Well. The other ones? They all sound like broken records. You're at least interesting to talk to."
"We could play checkers. I could sneak in a cold can, something with real caffeine in it."
"Sounds great. I'm not telling you anything for it, but, if you just like the company? Go for it."
We played a couple games of chess. I didn't win every game, but I was batting over 500. I got my own can of soft drink, when I won.
"So. Aren't you going to issue any of your own threats?"
"Such as."
"Basically, I get hurt if I don't cave in and agree to tell."
"And, how's that been working out for them."
"I'm still here."
"Figure I'll try something different. When I finally try it."
"Well. You have any good threats?"
He grinned.
"Ah. I have a bigger version of the whole, take you somewhere its actually dangerous. You know, tell you all the scary bedtime stories."
"Oh, getting beat up. Raped. Rubber hoses. Yap, yap, yap."
I made an opening and closing with my hand, in time with the yapping noises I was describing.
"I figured as much. Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm the, what. The next step up the ladder."
"What ladder. All the guards are secretly gay, and have gay orgies on the weekends? You, you're moving up that ladder."
He chuckled.
"Jurisdiction. A county judge, issued the court order. You have to understand, the FBI and the ATF sent teams of experts to help out, too. This is a big full court press."
"And."
"And. I think its obvious I don't actually work as a guard here. I could tell you anything, but whether you believe it or not is dicey. Local cops are... local. County jail, is local. But, the state police are in on it, too. Even the FBI and other agencies."
I grinned.
"What's amusing you now."
"Just the way you keep saying it. All, these, agencies. Its meant to intimidate me."
"It doesn't? That's a lot of manpower and resources out there. Just chomping at the bit."
"And you claim, you represent the next rung up the ladder. Not county."
He shook his head no, and jerked his thump up in that familiar gesture.
"Nice suit. You could jog in those hikers, though. State police investigator."
Another thumbs up.
"Not, state. Fed."
He grinned and nodded.
"FBI..."
He spread his hands, in a super slow shrug.
"One of the aforementioned agencies. Or, one not mentioned yet. Doesn't really matter."
"You not telling me, allows me to guess better."
He giggled.
"But, I could tell you whatever three letter agency. If I thought you'd believe me, and it got you talking? Yeah, I'd say it."
"And I take that into account. In fact, anything you tell me. Anything at all? I don't treat it like a fact. Its, just something you said."
"And that's not paranoid?"
"Don't care if it is. If I take anything you give me, as facts? No matter how mundane they seem, how easy to believe they really are. I'm letting you design my view of things. No way."
He nodded.
"How about this. I sat there, I looked at tapes of everyone else interviewing you. They get nowhere. I said to myself. I can see it. I bet, if I sat there and I was polite? I could get him talking. And you know what? Here we are."
I nodded along.
"That was good work. And you were correct. You actually, could launch and try all you're new threats? As long as you phrase them all politely? Its fine."
"Why would I waste my time. No. I'm studying you, all this. And I'm asking myself. What's this guy really want. I mean, no matter how bad you try, you can't put yourself even temporarily into the big limelight, the guy that killed the former governor. On live TV. You could never be him."
"Him?"
"Yeah. Him. Look, you can believe this or not, but he died from the arrow. That part was true. You're over the guardrail, and down the exact wrong side of the highway? To have done the arrow."
"But, how do you make it a him? Technically, everyone's a suspect, right?"
"Yeah."
"Even females. What logical reason can you offer me, it had to be a male."
"Because its almost always, a male. Women really don't do stuff like this. I mean, there's a first for everything. But the odds? No. He has testicles. Its a good assumption."
"I guess I give you that one, than."
"Since we're talking, can I ask you about... politics."
"Sure. But I really don't. Ask anyone. I try to avoid talking about religion and politics."
"Why."
"Both serve no point. Boring. Both? You can't prove or disprove a thing, either way. And, my ex? Once worked in state politics. I didn't want to meet the political people then? No more desire to, now."
"Your ex. You got divorced."
"No. She's dead. Police think some... serial killer came through."
"Sorry to hear about that."
"Eh. Nothing you could do."
"Can I ask, how it---"
"Well? Just like you. He, used a knife. They, called it a frenzy attack. Whoever he was? He could have stabbed three people, in three different bathtubs. Frenzy."
"That's bad."
"That is bad. Worse? Was me finding that. A couple days later. All I'm saying."
"That, would..."
"Yeah. It would. Now then. I only told you that story? To tell you this story."
He chuckled at the idea of me phrasing it like that. Circular motions from his hand, seemed to urge me on.
"I've been here over seven days, a full week. I'm approaching ten days, and I'm going to need my medication. I'm not begging you for it? So, you can save that whole plot line. My lawyer will be arriving. With a court order. That I get access to my medication, and that I administer the dose, not someone else."
"Sounds important."
"It is. After that's settled? If you want to continue playing chess, having these little talks. That's fine. But I can feel it coming on. In the next couple days? I'm going to come apart. My lawyer arriving, will fix me up. I will try? To keep my shit together for you, the best I can, but... at some point? I'll lose that battle."
And lose that battle I did. The little stabs of emotional pain that warn I need another dose straightaway. They were there, and intensifying if slowly. I ended up, and quite predictably so? Curled up in the corner of my private room, in the fetal position. Maybe something like two days of this ramping up, and I heard it through the clutter of the buzz that makes it into this room, a veritable oversize closet to house a person in solitary with, right in the middle of the guard room for whatever purpose beyond security or what not. I could hear my lawyer's voice cut through the audio clutter, and I heard her berating uniformed guards when they tried to give her lip.
When the guard moved to help her get me up, she cussed at him.
"Get the fuck away from me. I saw the paperwork, with my own eyes. He declared upon admissions here, that he was on medication. That he needed the medication. And, he had the medication with him. With a prescription, I might add. Its on the inventory list. I read it. You can look the drug up, its not narcotic. No junkie would want it. It has no street value."
The guard just stood there.
"Either you go and get his medication kit? Or I'm going to go get it. Myself. I have copies, of a judge's order. I have plenty to go around. The word... forthwith? That means, immediately. So, you go and get the medication and make it available to him? Immediately."
"Oh. I'm not sure the holding office? I think that's a morning thing, and only during the week."
"Let me explain what forthwith means? Its a very specific legal term. The judge's order? Says his medication and that he needs to see to it himself? Are to be made available to him. Forthwith. That means? Immediately. That, is a court order. You? Whatever you say your schedule is. That doesn't concern me in the slightest. You either convince me, right here, right now. That you're on your way, in a serious manner? To find the keys. Because the minute I think you're blowing smoke up my ass? I'm going to call the judge. You can speak to the judge, that just issued you a court order. You can explain to him, why you're defying his court order. In case you wonder? I have several other phone calls I can make happen. None of which? I think you'll enjoy."
"You got a mouth on you, lady."
"Yeah, I do. Go look at my card. I handed a few out already. You go and you call that big name, the first of those four names at the top. That? That's my boss. Arguably the first and most prominent of the four full senior partners. You tell him? I was hard to deal with. Mouthy. In fact, if you tell him I was downright impossible to deal with? I'd appreciate it. Probably get a raise and another promotion."
Within the hour of her arrival she had guards at my open door, and she was next to me. Helping me stay upright, on the bunk. Within that same hour, my guess, she started cooing to me.
"Shh. Its here. Go on, do your thing."
I was shaking so bad, I directed her through the procedure. Its hard to observe the complicated air bubble part. My eyes are permanently watering. I have to blink and rub on my eyes, to try to concentrate. I lowered my orange scrubs, which is what the county getup really is. Just orange medical scrubs. The regular workers? All guards and all workers are in uniforms. The rest? Wear their own color scrubs, the dark green they picked. I guess so the orange things, the inmates? Are easier to scan a crowd and keep track of.
She rammed it home in my thigh, and pushed the plunger home.
I would normally go fetal now, and wait for relief to slowly start happening. A sort of emotional numbness that creeps in. I laid across her lap, because she seemed to be gently preventing me from going fetal. The only guard there at the moment, was just the guy in the suit. The one I played chess with, and brought me the little gifts. Snacks, drinks, like that. He sat and quietly observed me. She asked if I'd rather have him sent away as well. I said no, I liked him.
Within the hour and well before, I was no longer... fetal, I call it. She had a literal stack of the same judge's orders. It made my syringe and the whole kit, little white sleeping pills included? Available to me day and night. If you wanna watch me take one little white pill every night, more power to you and what that does for you. Its not narcotic. And my shot I fix myself up with, and even top off when I feel like I need it? Once again, watch all you want.
My federal friend, as I now thought of him. He was in the same suit I thought, and peeked in through the night. He was there for breakfast, and he came in and brought the sealed breakfast tray to me.
"You seem like a new man."
I shrugged.
"I have a condition. You got to see the condition."
"You always been like that? Fragile."
"I'm not, as you put it, fragile. I suddenly with no warning? Found my fiancee of several years, stabbed to death three times over. I was in shock. The fact I could sort of keep some of my shit together? Is to me, amazing."
"You weren't like this, before..."
"Not at all. Now then. Where were we. Other than thanks for breakfast in bed. Now, you spring me for a movie, I get the big popcorn and drink? We might be talking."
He snickered.
"Dream on. I got more, what. Good cop game stuff. Got the chess board. Got a six pack of cold drinks. I even have, a pack of smokes and a lighter."
"That's illegal in here. Even for the guards. Now. I can smell them when they smoke somewhere? I just can't see it."
He shrugged.
"Well? Told you, I'm a fed. My intelligence? Was, that you like light cigarettes. Non menthol. Not a big smoker, but you like it."
"Supposed to make me feel good, smoke and talk. I suddenly sit back and spill my guts to you."
He grinned.
"That, would be nice? But, whatever. I like to think I'm getting a real handle on you now. Observing you now, for a while."
"Am I your favorite lab rat, huh."
"I have a job. I try to do my job."
"And your job here. Get me to talk. Open my laptop up."
"Is that what you figure this is?"
I thought about it, then rolled my eyes.
"Its the court order, that I'm defying. What else could you possibly even want."
"Hey. You got me, there. Like I could try to bullshit you, about that. So. I'm sitting here, and I think maybe I have you all figured out."
"And you figure buttering me up, playing to my supposed intelligence? Gains you ground."
"Well, it keeps us talking. And I'm right, about your politeness rule I guessed you have. As long as I'm polite, you have to continue talking to me."
"Something like that."
"So. No one thinks you make any kind of a real suspect. Hell. You're basically the worst witness, you went to take a piss. You give up your phone, no fight. But, when you realized you left your laptop there and took off? All of a sudden, here you are."
"You know all that, huh."
"It was the information I received. You know the techs, aren't having any success getting into your laptop. Don't you."
"I can't know. But it wouldn't surprise me. At all."
"Would it surprise you, how many cell phones and laptops make it through the state police tech rooms, and hold up?"
"You could tell me."
"Practically none. Its that rare. You, your laptop. Its a real novelty."
"It was hinted at before. That the FBI, and whoever else might take a crack at it."
"The, information I received? Was that you kind of dare them to try to get in it."
"About it. Local, county, state. I'm here because they obviously can't open it up, at the state police. Now, were talking federal. Whichever agency? Like it really matters."
"Like I said. I'm thinking. Wondering. What your real game plan is. Am I correct in assuming, you're amused? That the state techs cant get into the laptop."
"Well. I assume a copy of my hard drive got emailed to the FBI, and they emailed it to whoever else they thought could take a look at it. I'm betting we wouldn't be here, if anyone had been able to open it right up."
"Which, brings up another strange thing, about all this. Of the one in a million the state police can't crack right open? The FBI, or whoever they can call? Almost always, can."
"But here we are."
"And, here we are. So. The only thing I can see, is that you like the challenge. That no one can get into your laptop. Now, if you're curious. I normally play the part of the mysterious federal guy in the dark suit and sunglasses, the earpiece in my ear. My normal playbook? I'd have you transferred to some federal holding facility. Played the whole, you don't know where you are, I don't have to tell you. You just disappeared."
"And why might you have stopped your usual MO."
"Figure it wouldn't work on you. You? Unique. I got the nice and polite rule down pat, and it seems to keep you talking. I'm happy, like, step one? Right there. Us establishing some kind of dialog, doesn't matter what. Now. Tossing out the usual, dark suit earpiece thing. The threats, gone. Let's talk about what I can offer you."
"Beer, hookers?"
He chuckled.
"Dream on. Some taxpayer would find that one out one day, it would be the biggest shit-storm to shake out of all this."
"What's your proposition, then."
He nodded. He's calculating.
"Don't fight me, on the transfer to the federal facility. And I can give you reasons why."
"Well, list them."
"Bigger single room? Done. Nicer bed. Real clothes. TV, radio. I hear you like science fiction, off the book cart. You can pick titles out, online. Used. Next day delivery, right to our room. Way better food. On top of way better meals, I promise you that... dozen donuts in the morning? Done. Pizza between lunch and dinner, or a late night snack? I can make that happen. How about a comfortable chair, a desk."
"Really buttering me up, now."
"Its my pitch. Instead of guards, like these ones? Same plan, a room inside a squad room of guards. Every guy would have a college education. They'd all be instructed? About the polite plan."
"If only I would talk."
"We're talking here. Now. We could just as easily? Talk there. Any extras you like? How about visits. Your lawyer? Any day, any time. We have nothing to hide. She can come and inspect to her heart's content. I mean, I enjoy the coffee, the chess games. There? We could do it more. We could have our own coffee machine, right there. Little refrigerator. I mean, are you going to stab guards with the plastic milk container? Beat a guard to death, with a frozen banana. No, to you? That would be rude. Crude. Uncivilized."
"Other than a much better motel room for a couple months, which I admit is a nice creature comfort. What happens, when I don't give you the password to my laptop. Which is what I guess you guys have figured on."
"I figured, you might talk about it. The techs? Story I got was, they were actually interested in meeting the guy that did this. That could easily be the guys in that room. All college educated. All from your field or near it. I guess, on top of the little creature comforts? That right there, is my main pitch."
"When you transfer me? I have conditions."
"Oh. Not if... when I transfer you. I like the sound of that."
"You arrange transportation with my lawyer. She sees me in. She knows where I am, she can come in day or night and see how I'm being treated."
"Lawyer transported with, easy. Thing two?"
"You will need, my complete effects I checked in here with. I can't open the laptop up, even if I wanted to? Without something."
"They'll give us a box, with your effects in plastic baggies."
"Be careful, and don't lose anything. I have backup copies? But it would be a pain in the ass to send my lawyer to get one. Not like I'm letting strangers tramp through my house."