The weeks after the Festival passed quickly.
I'm currently meditating in my room while waiting for Janus, only moving whenever the fire needs more fuel. Winter had reached its peak, as far as I've been told, and soon it would all begin to melt again. By this point, the snow hills were so high that some trenches had become tunnels, and people could reach their homes from the second floor.
The interrogation from our new priest turned out to be far milder than I anticipated, and I managed not leak anything. In fact, he even requested to join the magic lessons I taught. He also started looking over our shoulders and asking us question after question whenever there were any patients. I didn't really see a reason to withhold that information from him, so I gave it to him liberally.
Rika was still her old self, though her teasing, now that Janus and my relationship has turned physical, took a rather depraved tone. I swore to myself that if she ever got a boyfriend, I would pay it back with interest.
Otto, however, had been behaving a bit odd. He had been showing up in the clinic far more than in the past, or rather, for the first time really. I haven't been able to find out why, but I know something was up. At the very least, he seems much more cheerful, albeit a bit anxious at times.
Benjamin finally seemed to be over his failed marriage proposal, or at least did his best to hide it. As for his training progress, he finally succeeded in regrowing tissue, though still horribly inefficient. He could barely regrow a ten-centimeter scar without emptying his entire tank. But this was nonetheless still very fast and good progress.
My other students all finished their cores, so I switched the classes to practical application and fixed a few misconceptions. Such as that earth, water, and wind magic can only control their respective elements. All earth magicians can control all solid dead matter, while all water magicians can control all liquids, and all wind magicians can control all kinds of gases. It took them quite a while to accept it, and even now I'm not sure if they believe me. Especially since I can't even demonstrate it for them, and the few existing textbooks on magic taught them the exact opposite. So there was still a significant hurdle in their minds that they had to overcome first to really use all the benefits of their different attributes.
Janus and I, meanwhile, had been… well, busy. Because somehow, between all the lessons I would get from Adelheid about how to walk, talk, eat, and appear like a noble, and all the preparations for our marriage, Janus and I still spent every night together. For others, that might have been exhausting, but for me, with my healing magic, it has been a very effective outlet for the daily stress I was experiencing. Rika especially kept making fun of me for always being so happy in the morning. And that it seems like I couldn't even wait to get back in bed.
Janus himself is also pleased about this, and ever since the Lunar festival, he has not spent a single night in his room, much to the dismay of my maidstaff who had to change our bedding every day. Even his family and some staff members started to joke that if we kept going like this, we would soon flood the fort with our offspring.
And as Idyllic as that sounds, I'm not even sure if I want any more children. Just the reality of soon having to take care of two babies who will try every trick in the book to kill themselves is giving me nightsweats. On the other hand, there was no birth control as far as I knew, and Janus and I would definitely not stop any time soon. Perhaps we should start some pull-out training…
Sigh, what is taking him so long?
Whatever, he will come eventually…
And I was right, after another hour of waiting, Janus finally opened my door. His clothes were still covered in snow that had already begun to melt. Cold water seeped through his heavy winter clothes and dripped on the floor while his boots squeaked with every step. His face was tired and pale, and he was shivering all over.
"Janus! What happened?!”
“Sigh,... one of these stupid yetis managed to scare my horse, and it threw me right onto the frozen river. And of course I broke through.”
While he explained his plight to me, he undressed and threw his drenched clothes into a pile next to the smoldering fireplace. Next, he pulled the armchair as close to the fire as possible and threw in a couple of logs before sitting down.
I stood up from the warm confines of my bed and worriedly walked up to Janus. Now that I was closer, I could see that it wasn't just his face; his whole body was as pale as a corpse.
“Are you hurt?”
“I am okay, I'm just cold. You should have seen Jack, though.”
“What happened with Jack?”
“He cut his arm on the ice when he pulled me out. He kept cursing all the way back. He is with Benjamin right now, so don't worry.”
I put my hand against his cheek to check his temperature. It was as cold as ice. I hastily pulled it back, and now I didn't quite know what to say, so I just awkwardly stood behind him. I know it sounds weird, but even though we were doing it every night, I still felt awkward around him. Especially now, I didn't really know what to do or say. The fire was the best way to heat him, and I wasn't sure if he wanted to talk, as tired as he was, nor did I know what to even talk about. At moments like these, I'm painfully reminded that we still don't know each other.
However, after a few minutes of silence, I finally managed to ask a question I had wanted to ask throughout our entire engagement.
“Are you happy?”
“About breaking into a frozen river?”
“No, not that, just in general, are you happy?”
“About what?”
“Like, are you happy about your work, your life, your relationships… Are you happy that you will be a father? Are you happy ab…
“About you?”
“Yes… all that.”
For a while, he just sat there and said nothing, just staring into the crackling flames while occasionally poking a stoker. Perhaps he was looking for the right words or maybe he never even thought about it.
“As hard as my work can be, as you can see today, I wouldn't want to do anything else. As for my life, that is much the same, really. Though, since I'm about to be a married man, perhaps it wouldn't have hurt to attend a few more parties. About my relationships… since I'm a noble, there are a few people in my life I can't avoid, whom I don't like at all. But if it's just my family now that Joel has come back to his younger self, I guess his mother is the only one I don't like to be around.”
“What about friends? Do you have any friends who aren't your colleagues?”
“Sure, I do as long as you don't count the sons of other noble families as my colleagues. But you are at home, most of my friends are working under or alongside me. But are you much better?”
“I don't know what you mean by…”
I tried to go through my list of friends, but soon realized that he was right: all my friends are work- or “school”- related, except for one.
“...Rika, she is my friend.”
But he just chuckled and continued by saying,
“Now, about the question of whether or not I would be happy about becoming a father. The answer is absolutely. I'm my father's heir and already have two kids on the way on the first try, so I will never have to worry about whether I'll have to get a second wife like my father. Instead, I can be with who I love.”
I would be lying if what he said didn't make me feel anything. Is this maybe the first step?
“And what about me, what about… us?”
For a moment, he lingered as if in thought until he stood up and sat down next to me.
“I love you, Ruby. And I know you have trouble interpreting your feelings, but I believe you love me too. Even if you yourself can't see it now, so yes, I'm happy with you. I just wish you would be a bit more confident.”
He wasn't wrong. I definitely feel different towards him. But so far, I just blamed our recent “compatibility”. As for me, lacking confidence, I can only say that it hasn't even been a year since I came here. And despite all the positive reinforcement from everyone around me, sometimes I still feel like my old self. Sometimes I fear this is all just a dream I will one day wake up from. Perhaps I should…
“Ahh! Too cold, you are still too cold!”
JAnus had put his ice-cold hand on my shoulder, ripping me from my thoughts.
“Sorry, I just thought…”
“We don't have to do it every night, you know.”
“I know? Weren't you the one who said, and I quote, you could never have enough?”
“That's… that's not fair to you. You kept teasing me all morning, so when you finally came back yesterday I…”
“Oh, finally you say.”
“You stupid…”
My curse was suddenly interrupted by Janus cold lips pressing against mine, and I could feel his hot breath mixing with mine.
