I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this and that Janus would be back by now with news of a clear and safe way to the Capital, but I had apparently hoped too much. I’m honestly not even sure I should still go to the Capital, because the church’s headquarters, the Eclipse, is located right in its center. Perhaps a different city could also serve my purpose of running away.
You want to know what I’m even so worried about? Well, guess what everyone knows. Some already suspected me, but by now, everyone with eyes could clearly see the bump. Not to mention my chest, which had grown even firmer and larger. Usually, I would have liked them to get a bit bigger. Still, now every time I move, I can feel the rough fabric brushing against my now very sensitive nipples.
I thought about changing that with a bit of shape changing, but ultimately decided against it. I’m still not sure how my shape-changing could affect the babies, so for now, all shape-changing is off the table.
Sadly, the men in my life seem to enjoy my sudden growth and stare even more blatantly under the guise of just wanting to look at my stomach. But unlike I expected, I could still deal with the men and talk with them like I always did. Sadly, though, the same couldn’t be said about the Woman. Whenever I come around a corner, I can see them stiffening up only to relax just when I pass. And sometimes I can hear them whispering behind my back. But that is still nothing compared to the looks some of them give me. I really don’t get it. They see me as a foreigner, then as a savior, and now? What do they see me as now? I already know the answer,
a whore.
And to prove my point, even Rika, who in the past never shied away from telling me the newest rumors about me, doesn’t want to tell me the latest tea and just keeps avoiding the topic.
Sigh,
Perhaps it really is better that I don’t know what they are talking about. Soon, I won’t see any of them anymore anyway, so why even bother explaining it to them? They wouldn’t even believe me. Heck, even I wouldn’t believe my flimsy lies.
But for now, I must keep going. I must keep working at least until Janus is back and I can finally leave. So, for now, I will concentrate on the task at hand. Today I must visit Madam Olivia for one of her checkups.
When I entered the main keep, I didn’t head straight towards her room like last time, but to the Rose garden. And when I reached the garden, I could already see Madam Olivia and her maid Bella walking the garden’s cobblestone path through the freshly trimmed flowerless roses. The Gardener had cut the roses close to the ground and would soon cover them in straw to protect them from the frost and snow.
Madam Olivia was holding onto Bella with her left hand while tapping the cobblestones with a wooden cane on her right. When I stepped closer, I could see the Sweat rolling down her face and over her labored smile.
“How are you, Madam Olivia?” Madam Olivia had insisted on being called just “Olivia” for some reason. Still, I just couldn’t bring myself to call her this informally. For some reason, even though I wouldn’t usually care about formalities, with Madam Olivia, something inside me refused to call her any other way.
“Huff, huff, I’m doing great. But Bella, do you think we could pause for a moment? My Huff, feet start to hurt.”
The old madam threw her maid a pleading look, but Bella only retorted,
“But, madam, this is only slightly more than yesterday.”
A guilty look flashed past the madam’s face as she gritted her teeth, preparing to take the next step.
“It’s okay, let Madam Olivia take a break, Bella. She shouldn’t over-exert herself either. Especially not when it starts to hurt.”
Madam Olivia threw me a thankful glance before heading to the Pavilion in the gardens’ center. Bella said while pouting,
“Well, if you say so, Miss Healer.”
Madam Olivia and I ignore her misgivings and sit down on two chairs inside the Pavilion. As Madam Olivia sat down, all restraint vanished from her face, and she deflated into the comfy garden chair.
“Haaaaaa, this is better.”
“Madam!?”
“Sigh, just give me a few minutes, there is no reason to keep up the act of a prim and proper noble. We were already past that point when she first met me in my nightgown. Besides, we are alone, so who cares?”
This might be true, but honestly, she looks much better than she did just a month ago. Her face was no longer sunk in, though still a bit thin. Her skin is finally a healthy pink color, not to mention her hair, which had already begun to grow denser with way fewer grey hairs in between. She couldn’t even compare to the thin skeleton she was before. Seeing her like that was heart-wrenching.
“I care, and others too. Next summer, we might be able to revisit your parents. We have to make a good impression when they get to see you again.”
Madam Olivia wore a wistful expression as she tried to remember her last visit to the Capital.
“Ah, the Capital, how many years has it been, Bella? Six? six years, I think.”
“It was nine years, Madam.”
“Really, nine, but you are right, last time was when Janus got eighteen years old. And the King threw a ball for all the capitals’ Bachelors and Bachelorettes.”
“I could never forget how nervous you were. Worrying for hours if he would come back with some dumb, stuck-up girl.”
Madam Olivia’s eyes passed along the trimmed roses before landing on me for a second, before turning to Bella again.
“Hehehe, but enough of old tales, would you be so kind as to bring us some tea, Bella?”
“Of course, Madam.”
And with that, Bella turned around and left us alone.
“Now Ruby?”
I raised an eyebrow. What did she want from me? And why is she saying it like that?
“Who is it?”
“Ehm, I’m not sure what you mean.”
I am sure, but I hoped she would get the hint like the others and not press the issue…
But when have my hopes ever been answered in this world? From the very first day on this planet, most of my hopes hadn’t come to fruition or were fulfilled in very unexpected ways.
“Come on, you know what I mean. Who is the father?”
I couldn’t exactly refuse to even answer her. She was Janus Mother and Willhelm Yuwen’s first wife, whom he had entrusted me with. I can’t afford to displease her. So I used the lie I had practiced these last few days.
“I’d rather not say. He has died.”
I could see the shock on her face, her immediate regret at asking the question, and something else I wasn’t quite sure about. But I had to use that lie; otherwise, someone might be implicated. Like if I said that, I simply couldn’t remember; others might be suspected of raping me. But this way I could simply pretend that someone among the soldiers we had lost since the Ibasan started their siege was the father.
However, to make the lie foolproof, I had to tell a second lie.
“Madam, there is really no need for that look or any tears. In all honesty, I’m not really sad. I just feel a bit regretful. I barely knew him. We got drunk, fouled around, and… well, it came to this.”
This was close to the truth and would also protect me from people who would wonder why I wasn’t grieving.
After some time, Madam Olivia seemed to have calmed down again.
“Are you really feeling alright, my dear?”
“I am really alright. I’m not even sure how he looked anymore. At most, I’m worrying how I will tell them who their father was.”
“Them?”
Shit, I and my loose mouth again. Well, let’s just hope that she doesn’t connect the dots to the Yuwen family, who are littered with twins.
“Oh, right, I have twins. A boy and a girl. That’s why it’s already this big despite it still being the fourth month.”
“You already know if it’s a boy or a girl?”
“With healing magic. Right now, the boy is on the left, and she is somewhere around here.”
I point slightly above my liver.
We continued talking for another 10 minutes about my pregnancy and how I have been doing, until we noticed something odd.
Bella hadn’t returned.