I was still a bit unsatisfied about what happened last night, or well, didn't happen. I didn’t have it in me to start a conversation, let alone a fight, so I just washed up and slipped into bed, letting the silence settle between us. Maybe he was just experimenting, trying something different. That shouldn’t mean anything, should it? Still, the emptiness lingered, curling up beside me in the dark.
But enough about last night. The days ahead promised nothing but tea parties, banquets, the summer solstice, hunts, tournaments, and shopping trips that seemed to stretch on forever. For someone like me, who prefers quiet corners and empty rooms, it all sounded like a special kind of torture. At least I could use the children as an excuse to escape most of it. Sadly, most didn't mean all, since not going to any events would brand me as arrogant, ungrateful, and unladylike, which is something some noble ladies' reputation might survive, but certainly not the reputation of, like Anna would say, a former “Peasant” like me.
So, like it or not, I’d have to show my face at a few of these gatherings. No invitations had come my way yet—no one really knows who I am, after all. But I could already feel the change coming, like the hush before a storm. Once the kingdom’s anniversary rolled around, with its grand welcoming party and the prince’s birthday, I’d be dragged into the limelight. Or maybe sooner, if word got out about my healing magic.
So right now, I was, as they say, in the calm before the storm.
Right now, Sera and Alex were busy discovering their limbs, twisting and flailing, with their little minds working overtime to make sense of it all. They babbled nonsense, kicked and grabbed at anything within reach, and tried to fit the whole world into their mouths. Thankfully, crawling was still a mystery to them, but Teresa was another story. She never stayed where I put her, always darting off the moment I looked away. If I focused on her, the twins would get fussy and bored, and if I turned back to them, Teresa would vanish across the floor in any direction, never staying where I put her down. At least she’s started pointing at things, so I can finally guess what she wants—most of the time.
I probably make it sound worse than it is. Taking care of them isn’t so bad, especially since it’s the only thing I really have to do right now. Most days, I still feel awkward, fumbling through the motions, never quite sure if I’m doing it right. Teresa adores her mother, so there are always tears when I take over. I could live with that, but lately, it feels like even my own children light up more when she walks into the room. It stings, just a little.
I mean, it's her job to take care of them, and I also like Emma, so what am I supposed to do? Punish someone I like for doing a good job? No! I just have to get out of my shell and act natural…
Sigh. If only it were that simple.
While I was busy sighing and wrangling children, the rest of the family scattered to the wind. Anna didn’t even stay a single night—she just dropped off some of her luggage and vanished, which apparently is nothing new. When I asked where she’d gone, everyone dodged the question, but Janus later confided that Anna changes lovers as often as she changes clothes, and she’s probably with one of them now. The irony isn’t lost on me, especially since Emma told me Anna calls me a ‘whore’ to her maids, or a ‘loose woman’ climbing the social ladder. As if she’s any better.
Martha took her niece Maggie, along with Julia and little Fiona, to explore the capital, while Maggie’s mother, Emilia, stayed behind. She claimed she wasn’t feeling well, but wouldn’t let me help and just locked herself away. Usually, she clings to her daughter like glue, so seeing them apart felt strange. There’s something odd about the way Emilia treats her twin, Martha—like they’re strangers, even when Martha tries to bridge the gap. I grew up with two older sisters, so I could already tell something was up.
Jack dragged Joel and William off to a gambling house. Well, really, it was Jack’s idea—William only went to keep his brother out of trouble, and Joel went to keep William from getting into trouble for not explaining himself before someone’s head met his fist. Apparently, that sort of thing happens to them all the time in the capital, at least if you ask any of the brothers.
Averal was too young for all that, so he stayed behind, happily scribbling letters to his girlfriend Juliet about his first day in the capital. I hope she knows how lucky she is. Janus has certainly never written me a letter—not that he ever had any reason to since he was always around after we got together, but I can’t help feeling a little envious, as silly as that sounds.
And finally, Janus, my husband, the father of our children, was away. Just one day and he already had to go back to work. Which isn't really a surprise. I knew it would be like that, but that doesn't mean I'm happy he isn't here. And when I sent him off, he had a weirdly large chest covered in metal ornaments loaded onto the carriage that gave off quite a strong vitality signal. I asked if the luggage needed air, and he just pointed out a few hidden breathing holes in the metalwork. And even though I couldn't see him, the vitality I felt reminded me of a certain someone, so I just played along. When I look back, I saw that chest before in the teleportation circle; I just didnt pay much attention to it. So he must have been in there when we left.